The 2,500-mile journey from Tyneside to the Tofiq Bahramov Stadium in Azerbaijan is a daunting expedition for any football club, yet Newcastle United made the trek look like a casual Sunday stroll.
In a performance that will be discussed in the pubs of St. James’ Park for generations, the Magpies dismantled Qarabag in the first leg of their Champions League play-off. At the center of this whirlwind was Anthony Gordon, who didn’t just play a football match; he authored a piece of history.
The Scouse winger produced the fastest hat-trick ever recorded by an Englishman in the competition, a stunning 33-minute treble that effectively secured Newcastle’s path to the last 16 and an £11 million windfall.
The night began with a relentless energy that caught the hosts completely off guard. Newcastle almost scored within the first minute when Harvey Barnes tore down the left flank, forcing a sharp save from Kochalski.
The reprieve was brief, however. Just seconds later, the Magpies orchestrated a beautiful team goal. Lewis Hall found Dan Burn, who lofted a ball to Kieran Trippier. The veteran full-back tossed a throw-in back to Burn, who surged forward with four touches before picking out Gordon.
With clinical precision, Gordon slammed the ball into the bottom corner. It was the dream start Eddie Howe had envisioned, and the momentum only gathered pace.
By the eighth minute, Newcastle had doubled their lead. Trippier, showing the technical quality that has defined his career, curled in a corner that eventually fell to Malick Thiaw at the back post. The German defender made no mistake, powering his header home to make it 2-0.
The gulf in class was apparent, not just in the scoreline but in the numbers behind the teams. Qarabag’s entire squad was assembled for roughly £23 million a fraction of Newcastle’s £619 million squad cost and that financial disparity translated into a tactical slaughter on the pitch.
Gordon was simply unplayable. After 28 minutes of constant pressure, a shot from Joe Willock struck Matheus Silva’s arm. The referee pointed to the spot, and Gordon stepped up to bury the penalty into the bottom left corner.
Before the home side could even process the 3-0 deficit, Gordon struck again. Directly from the restart, Newcastle won the ball in the center circle. Nick Woltemade hooked a pass forward, and Gordon capitalized on a defensive error by Kevin Medina, rounding the keeper to claim his hat-trick and the match ball.
History was being made in real-time. Gordon’s trio of strikes surpassed the European away-day exploits of Newcastle legends like Alan Shearer and Rob Lee. But he wasn’t finished. Just before the half-time whistle, Gordon was fouled in the box.
He stepped up once more, sending the goalkeeper the wrong way to make it 5-0. Yet, as the players walked toward the tunnel, a bizarre scene unfolded. Despite the five-goal lead, a heated argument broke out between Gordon and his captain, Kieran Trippier.
The disagreement seemed to stem from the second penalty. Trippier appeared to be debating whether Joe Willock should have been given the chance to score, despite Gordon being the designated taker. The tension was visible, and it required the intervention of big Dan Burn and Anthony Elanga to separate the pair.
It was a strange moment of friction in a half of football that was otherwise perfect. However, in a testament to the professionalism of the squad, the two were seen hugging later in the game when Gordon was substituted, proving that the competitive fire in the dressing room is fueled by a collective desire to win rather than any deep-seated animosity.
The second half was a more subdued affair as Newcastle looked to manage their energy and protect their lead. Qarabag managed to pull a goal back nine minutes after the restart when Elvin Cafarquliyev exploited a rare lapse in Nick Pope’s concentration.
The goal gave the local fans a moment to cheer, but it never threatened the outcome of the tie. Eddie Howe used the comfortable cushion to rotate his squad, giving the heroic Gordon a well-deserved rest in the 68th minute.
The substitutions only added to Qarabag’s misery. Jacob Murphy, appearing for the first time in months, took just three minutes to find the net with a majestic curled effort from the right. The 6-1 lead was a fair reflection of the dominance Newcastle exerted over their opponents.
The final minutes also provided heartwarming moments for the traveling fans, as Joelinton made his long-awaited return from a groin injury, and young Sean Neave was handed his professional debut.
Statistically, the night belonged to Gordon, whose four-goal first half is a feat shared by very few in the history of the Champions League. Only legends like Luiz Adriano and Lionel Messi have produced such prolific spells in the competition’s early stages.
With 10 goals in this European campaign, Gordon is now chasing the likes of Kylian Mbappe for the Golden Boot, a sentence that would have seemed like a fantasy to Newcastle fans just a few seasons ago.
As the team prepares for the return leg at St. James’ Park, the focus will remain on maintaining this incredible standard. The squabble between Trippier and Gordon will likely be forgotten by the time they land back in the North East, replaced by the realization that this team is no longer just happy to be in the Champions League they are there to compete with the very best.
Eddie Howe’s side has traveled the length of the continent to prove a point, and they have done so with a ruthless efficiency that suggests the journey is only just beginning.
